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1993-01-18
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7KB
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157 lines
"THE ADVENTURES OF MODEM-MAN!"
by Mike Siebern
Ever considered starting your own BBS? Everyone should have this unique
oppertunity! After all look at all the free software you can get from
all those suckers who actually upload something!
DATE: July 24, 1989 1:34 pm
Sucker, I mean subject, walks into local Radio Shack and reluctantly
forks over $29.95 plus tax for a direct connect 300 baud modem.
(Afterall, if you are just going to test the waters of this marvelous
world of electronic communications, why fork over the big bucks for a
high speed modem, if you really aren't sure this is your cup of tea?
DATE: July 24, 1989 6:35 pm
Sucker calls up his neighbor, who told him this was neat in the first
place, and tells him he is ready for his first modem session, if the
neighbor has time to recieve his call. The arrangements are made and
the telephone lines come alive with the sound of a carrier!
All seems to go well, the chat works really neat, and you even swap a
couple of utilities using "X" modem. This doesn't seem to be to bad!
The ever helpful neighbor gives you a couple of numbers of BBS's in the
Detroit area which are supposed to be really neat! You decide to wait
until after 11:00 pm when the rates are lower.
DATE: July 24, 1989 9:46 pm
Not able to withstand the tempatation any longer, you give the phone a
dial and breathlessly wait for that entrancing sound...got it !..a
carrier.. subject anxiously pushes the connect button and the screen
comes to life!
Subject pays close attention to the information on the opening screens
as it scrolls in front of his eyes. Name:?..subject enters name . Not
found!.. please select a password...hmm.. this has to be original!
Subject types in 007...password already used..please select
another...hmmm..Bond...password already used..please select
another...hmmm..DARTH VADER..pass word must be one word..please try
again...hmmm..joesentme...password must not be longer than 8
characters..please try again...nerd.. please reenter password to
verify..nerd.. please write down your password so you will not forget it
on your next log in.. now please hang up and we will verify you within
the next 24-48 hrs. You will then have access to the BBS.
Gloom settles in. You look at the clock..15 minutes for what! Oh well,
it will be better next time when you are verified. You decide to wait
until 11:00 again, just in case.
DATE: July 24, 1989 10:26 pm
Not able to take it any longer, subject dials another number. Connect!
Name...Password..hey it accepted it the first time! (This is gettting
easier all the time!) Subject anxiously reads the log on screens,
awaiting for his first full session! "For full access to this BBS,
please fill out the application form and return it with $25 to.. !
What is this? Subject dejectedly hangs up. Clock reports another 10
minutes have elapesed, and still no neat files to report. Subject
decides to wait and try to find a local BBS to call.
DATE: July 25, 1989 1:13 am
Subject rolls out of bed, not being able to sleep because of some
strange urge. Restlessly subject retires to the commode and finds a
tattered copy of "COMPUTER SHOPPER" magazine. As subject is resting, he
thumbs through the pages. WOW! a whole listing of BBS numbers! His
eyes scan the pages for something close to home...hmmm not much there.
With renewed hope, however, he flushes away his dispair, and retreats to
the den and fires up the trusty computer and prepares for just one more
attempt. Scanning the pages again he finds a listing that is only one
state away and it says free access first call!
Feverishly dialing the numbers, he awaits that now familiar
sound...hmm..busy signal. This must be a good board! He waits a few
minutes and tries again.
DATE: July 25, 1989 2:23 am
CARRIER! CONNECT! Subject made it! Answering the now familiar prompts,
the subject breathlessly awaits the next screen. MAIN MENU Holy
CARRIERS, modem-man! You are into the system! Hmmm..F..files. L..list
file areas...F...list files in area XYZ... Subject looks in wonder at
all the neat goodies available to him. Grabbing a pencil, subject jots
down some files which look useful.
D..download
X..Xmodem
filename...X begin d/l of file
file size 128k..est time 42 min. @300
Subject watches as little numbers flash by on the monitor.
DATE: July 25, 1989 2:54 am
Subject needs hot cup of JAVA!
Returning from kitchen, subject watches last 5 minutes of transfer
scroll by. FILE TRANSFER SUCCESSFUL!
Subject prepares to enter 2nd file request...
Insufficient time for d/l!
Oh well. At least subject got one file! Subject logs off.
DATE: July 25, 1989 3:10 am
Subject enters command line...SUPRMENU.ARC... Unrecognized command!
We fire up the DeLorean and move ahead in time.
Subject has discovered the wonders of arc, zip, lzh, zmodem, etc.
After surviving a near fatal bout with the phone bill over the past two
months, the subject rationalises that a 2400 modem would pay for itself
in a short time.
Two months later...
With the 2400 modem in place the user has now become accustomed to phone
bills in excess of $120, but subject can transfer more files in less
time! Trouble in reiver city modem-man. The usual BBS's will not allow
any more d/l without uploading a few files! They already have all the
files the subject has. Time to hit the pages of COMPUTER SHOPPER again.
Later the same month...
Subject thinks..why spend all this money on calls when I can set up my
own BBS and have them call me! The process is set in motion..
One cold winter evening...
The BBS is set and ready to connect! Subject runs off several copies of
an announcement and puts them in the local stores.
Time passes.
Subject has a few callers..but they don't need any of his 74 files or
have anything they want to upload! Subject returns to the term program
and dials a few more numbers..posting announcements and selecting a few
new files.
Time passes...
Subject has a few curious callers but often spends his evenings staring
at a monitor which is not doing anything.
Why won't they call? Why won't they upload?
Unfortunatly our subject is hooked and will spend the rest of his life
tied to the phone lines and monthly phone bills which would keep a lot
of drug users happy.
The above dramatization is true. The names of the subjects have been
removed to protect the victims.
The subject was convicted and sentenced to a life term of providing 1
upload for every 10 files he downloads.
My name is modem-man.